Why am I even talking about self-awareness?
I’m sure you’re asking yourself this question.
I always believed that I was so connected with myself, my life, and I knew so much about myself.
Lol, was I wrong?
As I grow as a person and in business, I realize I don’t know as much as I thought I did.
I also realized that I can still learn so much. One of the greatest things I get to discover constantly is who I am becoming.
“If you think that you are who you will always be then you have already given up on who you can become.”
Just as in business there is always something to learn, brush up on, and grow, it is the same for yourself.
As you are moving through life do you ever catch yourself thinking, how does someone else not see what is right in front of them? How do others not recognize that they need growth in an area? How about in business, you seem to know what they need but they don’t?
This will always happen. We are only human.
So why is it so important to focus on self-awareness?
First, we need to talk about what is self-awareness just to know what it is, exactly.
Definition of self-awareness:
conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
In a blog post on the Positive Psychology Blog, they say that “Self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection.
While it may not be possible to attain total objectivity about oneself (that’s a debate that has continued to rage throughout the history of philosophy), there are certainly degrees of self-awareness. It exists on a spectrum.”
With that said, I believe becoming self-aware can help us with our growth.
“Becoming self-aware is a never-ending experience and a continuous search as we grow and have experiences throughout our lives.”
You don’t know what you don’t know. When you know, you are now aware. Knowing means you now have knowledge of something and that means you are now responsible for taking action on that knowledge.
As you become more aware of who you are, how you are, your likes, dislikes, and all that has made you who you have become; you now have an opportunity to choose who you want to become moving forward.
Sometimes self-awareness can come at unexpected moments in unfortunate ways. One of the moments I experienced self-awareness was during an argument I was having with our daughter. She told me that I wasn’t hearing her. I told her that I heard what she said. She told me that I was listening to respond not listening to hear.
That was so profound to me. I realized she was exactly right. I realized in that moment that growing up I would hear, “always have an answer, you don’t want to look stupid.” What a horrible thing to say. It is okay to not know things and it is okay to allow others to be where they are without having to do anything or say anything and to focus on leaving my feelings and thoughts to the side so I can respect her where she is and what she is going through. I didn’t learn how to do that either growing up.
My newfound awareness showed me that I had some work to do. This was years ago. I am still working on being better about this.
What is it that you need to do to become more self-aware?
You need to be willing to be vulnerable, transparent, learn from others, and be accountable to yourself.
You also need to be willing to hurt, struggle, and be tired of it all sometimes.
As you are asking yourself the questions that help you dig deeper into who you are, what and who your influences have been, uncovering the beliefs and values you have chosen; a lot of times by default, it can be extremely difficult.
The last thing people typically want to do is ask the questions I ask.
I have always heard:
Don’t look back
Stop living in the past
Let it go
If you’re looking back, you’re living in the past not the present
There are so many more.
I share this because the only way I was able to learn where my habits, beliefs, likes, dislikes, and on and on came from was to evaluate where I came from, what and who influenced me, and how all of that is serving me now.
It is dire to gain awareness of your roots. You must learn what has shaped you. This will help you see what serves who you are choosing to become and what does not.
Most people don’t realize that you can’t control what has happened to you in the past. You can control what you choose to do next.
Getting focused on discovering what makes you tick. Not just the surface stuff either. The depth to who you are and why you are the way you are. We all were born with our core of our personality, yet who we have become has been shaped by the contamination of the world.
It has been shaped by
Brief moments in time you probably don’t even remember
Your entire life has shaped your habits, your likes, your dislikes, and your beliefs about money, marriage, success, failure, employers, employees, entrepreneurship, and anything else you can think of.
Isn’t it about time you take a step back to make sure that you take back control of your life and in turn your business?
I know, you probably don’t get how this all plays into business.
I’ll share this with you.
I have had a fear of success. I have struggled with it my entire life.
There are a few reasons. The most prominent one was that I saw people around me in my life succeed. When they succeeded, meaning they made lots of money, they became nasty people. I mean I don’t know that they were not that way before considering they were much older than I. It did seem that those who were well off became a different kind of nasty to others than people who were just miserable and having everyday struggles.
Another very strong reason I have struggled with success was because I was told so many times; “if you keep getting grades like this you will not make it in life.” Wow, how the scripture “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Proverbs 18:21 comes to mind.
It didn’t matter that I was spending 4-5 hours a night on homework outside of all my extra-curricular activities or that I was getting extra help at school from friends and teachers. It was ingrained in me that I would never amount to anything. Our minds are powerful things.
It’s amazing how other peoples’ views of us can shape our own beliefs about ourselves even if we know they are wrong.
I barely graduated high school. I was in the bottom few % of my class when I graduated. I went on to be on the Dean’s list and President’s lists in college, which I never believed I would go to college either. As a single mom, I worked and went to school to become a Cosmetologist in the late 1990s.
If I had listened to no one else.
If I had focused on who God said I was.
If I had not cared about what other people thought.
I would have had such a different life.
I realized that I lived my life being who others expected me to be instead of being who I felt I was on the inside.
That started a very long journey with a deep desire to learn who I was, who I wanted to be, who God created me to be, and how to shift my thinking.
The phrase “It’s Time 2 Change” was what changed everything for me in 2001. I will say, it took years upon years to be at a place where I am extremely self-aware and have been able to heal in ways, I never thought possible beforehand. That also meant that I was able to go into business for myself and generate revenue and profits.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to get you started.
What do I believe is holding me back?
Where do I continue to get stuck?
What are my patterns?
Where did this come from?
Is this how I want to continue believing moving forward?
If so great!
If not, choose what you desire to believe.
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