I Am Not Always My Best

I Am Not Always My Best

Most people believe they are self-aware.  They will say “I know everything about my life, myself, and everything going on in my life”.  While that may be true, knowing is different than being aware.

When you are self-aware you know why things are happening in your life.

When you are self-aware you know who is impacting your life and in what way.

When you are self-aware you are grateful when people point out how you can do things better instead of being offended or getting defensive.

When you are self-aware the way you live life changes.

This isn’t to say that if you are self-aware you are on point every second of every day and don’t have some difficult moments of not knowing why things are happening, or that you don’t get offended and defensive at times, or that you know exactly who and what is impacting your life in any way at all times.

We are not all knowing.  Self-Awareness is so important.  As you work at it you will start to recognize things more often.  We are all a continual work in progress.  Ok, with that said, lets move on.

There is an intentionality for everything you do when you are self-aware.  There is a purpose to your journey.  You are taking 100% responsibility for all your actions and who you are.  You are not focusing on blaming, complaining, or getting revenge against others.  Here, again that doesn’t mean you may not point out another person’s actions or expect them to take ownership of their part in an issue.  It just means you are more likely to say, in this situation what is my part and how am I contributing if at all to the issue.

You are constantly asking yourself the right questions to make sure you believe these are the best decisions.  Will all of them work out? No.  We are all flawed and have issues.  However, self -awareness helps us be better women in all areas of our lives.

I love being aware and being able to, honestly and authentically, apologize to my husband, kids, parents, friends, strangers, and on and on because I am 100% responsible for me.  I am honest with myself about my shortcomings, what I do and don’t know, what I am and am not capable of.  I don’t always let those things to make me feel less than.  I work hard to let those things fuel me and help me focus on asking for help so I can put my efforts where they need to be.

I am not always at my best.  Let’s face it, we are human, we are not perfect.  At the end of the day if I can reflect back and see where I did well, where I didn’t do well, and can ask for forgiveness, extend forgiveness to others and reach to God for help to grow me tomorrow then it was a successful day of my attempting to be my best.

How do we become self-aware?  What does that look like?

I believe becoming self-aware happens 2 ways:

  1. By default, by accident, by chance, through a reaction
  2. With intention, a conscious choice

If it happens by default that means something happened that triggered, you to be focused on an area of your life that you haven’t seen this way before.  You might even say to yourself, “It has always been this way, so I never realized.” You now see it so much more clearly and almost as though you are looking at it for the first time.  It can feel somewhat surreal.

If it happens with intention that means you have an area of your life you are wanting to look at more intently and see if from multiple angles with the goal of gaining a new awareness.  Again, you might feel as though you are looking at this area of your life for the first time.  It can feel somewhat surreal.

No matter how you get to self-awareness you now have a responsibility that comes with being aware.  When you become aware of something within yourself you are responsible for choosing what to do with it.  You are responsible for the decision to leave it alone and call it good or to change it and grow from this.

Sometimes we observe in the moment and then when we are done, we don’t continue to observe our lives in that way.  We go back to living passively and by reaction from our subconscious mind.  This allows us to put the responsibility back on others and off ourselves.

Why do we do that?  Because the work can be difficult, the work can be hard, and the work can change our lives in ways we never wanted or expected.  So, it is easier to stop working on growth and go back to what we have always done.

Sometimes we observe in the moment and find a passion for the new outcome we desire and as well as the desire to no longer be this way, so we fight.  We become so determined we are good with whatever changes come because anything must be better than this.

Being self-aware can seem mentally exhausting since it almost feels as though you are always in evaluation mode.  Honestly, our minds do this naturally.  We are just living in an age where our minds are constantly distracted, and we can more easily live by default instead of intention.

I encourage you to: Be self-aware; Desire to know your inner truth; Desire to know the what, why, how and when of your past and present.  This will help you conquer your world.

Here is an action you can take today:

Today, pick one area of your life you seem to be stuck on.

Start evaluating everything about it from a factual and non-biased perspective.  This isn’t about judgement; it is about seeing yourself in action and how and who you truly currently are.  You will discover the truth about yourself as well as how to be completely honest with yourself.

During this process if you see that there was an issue and someone else was responsible for 99% of the issue and you were responsible for 1%. Learn how to take 100% responsibility for that 1% and start to forgive the other person.

Stay tuned for a post on Forgiveness

Let the following encourage you to be mindful of what you allow into your mind and heart as well as what you believe and say about yourself because of others. 

“What others do and say says more about them than it does about you.  What you do and say says everything about you and nothing about them.” ~unknown~.

Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Proverbs 18:21 NLT

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

“Our tongue speaks life and death, not only towards those we speak to but to ourselves, for when we speak we hear the words also and our minds hear it as truth.”

P.S. If there is something more you would find helpful for me to provide/create for you please email me at clientcare@denaadams.com and/or share it here.  I’m here to serve you and empower you.

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